Okay, so much of this post will be pertinent to all and some of it will be for our fellow momma’s who have children with special needs….. Read and take what you will….
Yesterday was an epic, sad and upsetting day. Where do I begin……
The most positive thing that happened was momma and Rhema both wore our purple in rememberance of our friend Baby Joy who is in Heaven with Jesus. Rhema and momma met Joy’s mother, Jennifer, while Joy was in the hospital for a heart surgery. We took Joy and Jennifer a Christmas present last year and was able to spend a few moments with Jennifer. They are a wonderful, Jesus-loving family who are grieving the loss of their daughter Joy. Yesterday was Joy’s second brithday and we wore her favorite color, purple, in honor of her. I spend the day in prayer for Jennifer and the family….and then I got another call….
The second call was from our precious friend Joni (the lady who just sponsored Rhema for the Walk N Roll). We were making plans on seeing Joni in a few weeks so we’ve been chatting with her the last few days. Well a call came in at 4:17am from Joni, which I missed, but when I saw the text message from her at 7am I began to weep. Joni’s 7 year old niece, Cup (short for cupcake), had stopped breathing and had gone to be with Jesus during the night. Now I have never had the pleasure of meeting Cup, but I’ve seen many, many, many a picture of her and even talked on the phone once to her when Joni worked with Rhema. I do not know the details of her passing but all I know is that she is with Jesus. First Baby Joy and now Ms. Cup! Oh, Jesus come soon….Ohhhh, my heart is breaking…..too many babies are leaving us way too soon. We’ve just been grieving the loss of Emma last week who’s favorite color was purple too. I spent some time in prayer for that family too yesterday while wearing my purple. I’ve talked to Emma’s mother many months ago while she was at Children’s….. So much loss……three little, precious girls gone to Jesus now…. Now for all three girls, I know that their health issues on earth were limiting. Now that they are with Jesus they are LOVING their new found freedoms and I’m sure little Ms. Joy had the most purplest Birthday party Heaven can throw; that brings comfort to my heart. Nevertheless, my earthly heart aches for the families here who’s arms are aching for their girls. I know last night I held Rhema in her bed almost an hour after she fell asleep; I just could not leave her…..
Please join us in praying for Joni’s family as they walk out this loss and keep in mind Emma & Joy’s family. I’ve spend the last 48 hours in much prayer and tears over these losses….. It’s is my honor, through my tears, to pray and cover these lovely families….join me….
Now is the section for momma’s who have kids with special needs……
More tears have been shed over Rhema’s challenges too in the last 48 hours. I see her make tiny progress and then I see her have huge, surprising set backs. I’m working on not letting her set backs affect me, but there are some days when you have PT, OT and teachers saying all that is going “wrong” with Rhema that it just snowballs you over. Now these precious ladies are just doing their job; they are letting me know the challenges they are experiencing with Rhema. I’m able to give input and make suggestions from what we’ve tried with her, but it’s just been a little MUCH lately…. I’ve had to really fight discouragement…. then last night takes the cake.
I bought Rhema some amazing little wheelchair gloves for the Walk N Roll. Now, Rhema loves gloves; she would wear woolen gloves all day, everyday if I would let her. So it never occurred to me that she would need a period of time to get accustomed to these new gloves. I excitedly got them out last night to decorate them for and to show her the new surprise. Well, you would have thought that I’d tired to give her a snake. She cried, cried, cried and was traumatized by the gloves. New things, places and people may do this to her– but gloves???? She loves gloves???? So, after an hour of trying to get her acclimated to the gloves and playing fun games with her with the gloves, I gave up. Rhema would hold them but NOT put them on. So, I let her take them to her room, thinking that she might try them “on her own terms”. Nope. She will play with them, but try talking about putting them on and you’d think she heard she was getting “death by gloves.” Ugh! So, no special wheelchair gloves to help protect her hands and fingers at the Walk N Roll. So “plan b”–I have some small gardening gloves that look similar to the woolen gloves she likes, so we will try those.
I really think it’s just been a little much lately. Those that know us well, know of the other additional, extenuating challenges we are facing right now, which gives you a clue why “the glove incident” would test and unravel me to such a degree. I typically do not talk much about all this stuff; I pray it does not come across as too negative or too personal. I write both these sections for two purposes: one to ask for prayer for our friends and for ourselves. Obviously, you guys are all prayer warriors and will be all over lifting up our friends, but when you do that, please lift us up too. We are grieving along with them.
Secondly, I write this for all my mommas-in-arms who are balancing “life” plus the journey with their child with special needs. Yes, dear momma, sometimes “life” hits you like a truck, and you are left on your back asking if anyone got the license plate of that truck. LOL. Yes, too many proverbial trucks have sped through my days lately. So, dearest momma friend, here’s what I’ve decided: I’m staying on the ground for a few minutes. I’m dazed, I’m tired and I’m here anyway. So, while I’m down here here is what I’m gonna do– I’m going to be thankful that the truck did not take me out, only down, momentarily. I’m going to feel this pain and be thankful that I’ve got another opportunity to pray, to rejoice and to take my wounded heart to the One who made it. I’m going to remember I am the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and that even though I’m down, I will rise again and not be given over to ruin. (Prov. 24:16) So, I rise up, ready for Round –whatever number you want to ascribe– to this journey of “life” and life with my precious Rhema. God’s Got This–all of it–and that is enough!