We had a lovely Father’s Day! Rhema’s daddy enjoyed spending time with her and loved her shirt that she and mommy bought. It’s hard to read, but it says “My Dad Is The Best”! Rhema and I are two blessed ladies in that we both have a wonderful man in our lives. Rhema’s father is a wonderful husband and a wonderful father to Rhema!
As I peruse, almost daily, many parent blogs for families with special need’s kids, I’m constantly reminded of how many “dads” punk out and walk away when the going gets tough. It’s said that it can be too much strain on a marriage, or just too much on an individual to wrap their head around having a child with special needs. The divorce statistics are mind blowing, scary and down right heartbreaking. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been in the hospital, specialist waiting room, therapy clinic, or on campus at Children’s and talked with moms who’s husband has called it quits on being the person he vowed to be. I pray and cry tears for that mom and their children when I drive home.
The reality is we, as parents, wives or husbands, cannot do it alone. The truth be told, we cannot successfully even exist, much less thrive as humans without the One who designed, created and breathed life into our lungs. It’s not a cop out and it’s not a crutch, it is basic 101 reality; as real as gravity. So, why would we arrogently think we could “parent” on our own.
I think back to that first 24 hour period when Rhema was born and a well-intentioned neruosurgeon walked into my hospital room and laid out his vision of how our life would be with a child with special needs. He quoted divorce rates, told us horror stories about family dynamics, the future of our “forever changed” lives and all the negatives about my precious Rhema’s life, all with a dead- panned look on his face. I was still doped up from surgery, trying to understand what spina bifida and hydrocephalus was, make critical decisions about the emergency surgery she needed and all the while listening to the death and destruction story this doc was weaving about our familiy’s future. That one day, that one speech, would be enough to make even the most dedicated parent want to throw in the towel and walk/run away.
My seeming digression has a point– my man’s still here. I’m proud of my husband and Rhema’s dad that he made the choice to keep his vow to us. It is a choice, don’t think it’s not. Since that first day, we’ve been through a lot as a young family, many of you know our full story, and we’re still standing–together, united and decided. Some day’s it’s not real pretty how we make it, but nevertheless, we get up the next day and do it all over again, together. You know our secret? We have an Anchor that holds. We have Someone who “sticks closer than a brother.” His name is Jesus. On days like today, Father’s Day, I’m thankful for my husband, but I’m extra thankful to the One who holds his hand.
So, my long winded Father’ Day post is just this… I’m thankful for my man, I’m thankful that Rhema has an amazing father, and most of all I’m thankful for my Heavenly Father.
P.S. I’m extremely thankful, infinity and beyond, to my earthly father who has demonstrated to me the love of my Heavenly Father. Your an amazing dad and now an amazing Papa to my Rhema! Such blessings… I’m without words to describe how happy I am that Rhema can “soak up” her Papa’s love and experiece what I’ve experienced my whole life. You are our Papa, our “moon man” and our swinging play buddy! We love you!